Stop Feeling Like a Failure - Finding Your Vision of Success

Feeling like a failure is the dark side of our culture's obsession with being rich, famous and thin.

Who owns the definition of success?
Feeling like a failure might be better reframed as an excessive tendency to compare oneself to others. If you have an uncritical belief that worth can be measured by money, status or fame you are setting yourself up for unhappiness and missing out on other very important areas of human experiencing. Stories abound of successful executives or performers whose personal and spiritual lives were in a shambles.. sometimes to deadly effect.

Initial definitions of success are often inherited from family and culture
One of the first holes that we have to climb out of is the origin of our standards. Up until a certain age (say, nine or ten), we accept the standards of our culture and our families fairly uncritically. For one thing, as children, our intimate universe is largely confined to family, school and neighbourhood and there may be few competing value structures to pull or push us out of them. In adolescence or young adulthood opportunities appear to consciously adopt alternative value systems but we do not always consider this. In fact, if we feel at all unsteady as we go out into the world, unfamiliar value systems may be scoffed at and felt to be inferior or at the very least strange and possibly dangerous. Our inclination to remain with what is familiar, no matter how hurtful it may be to us, is often a trap that confines us like an invisible electric fence. The tiny spark of uncomfortable anxiety that we feel when we are touched by "the shock of the new" is too often enough to make us recoil instinctively... and respond with a put-down, a joke or a snarl ... anything but courageous curiosity and an open mind.

Is Steven Hawkins with his brilliant mind confined to a wheelchair successful in the same terms as an olympic athlete? Is a nun successful in the same terms as a pop star? Is a good mother successful in the same terms as a business executive?

Received values vs Personal values

Question where your visions of success come from.
"Everybody says so" or "Everybody knows" are not actually authorities.

In fact, "everyone" is just as likely to be "no one".

Speak to real people you admire about what they consider important in life. Read biographies of individuals whose lives you consider to be successful. You may be very surprised at what parts of their life they feel humanly best and worst about. The top athlete may value his emotional connection to his team members, or his commitment to his faith or feel deeply proud of his volunteering. The eminent professor may be very proud of his golf score. Even individuals who have achieved substantial "worldly" success may regret other personal paths not taken.

Develop your own authentic vision of a good life and try to live it.
"Everybody's" standards may actually be too vague and general for you as an individual. Positive psychology researchers have discovered that there is a nearly universal set of 24 positively valued human attributes. They include:  Love, Curiosity, Fairness, Judgement and Open-mindedness, Love of learning, Creativity, Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Honesty, Humor, Self-regulation, Social intelligence, Modesty and Humility, Zest for life, Prudence, perspective and a dozen others. It is worth considering what it might mean to be a success in these domains of value... qualities of character that are honored and appreciated in every age, social group and human culture.

Five ways to feel more successful now.

(1) Choose reasonable goals.Goal setting and motivation work best on mid-level and achievable goals.
YES!... Getting to sing a solo in your church choir or school talent show requires effort and dedication and gets you recognition from real people around you.
NO!... Chasing a fantasy of becoming Britanney Spears by the time you are nineteen is a recipe for heartbreak and frustration.
(2) Take a broader view of success. Include the positive human values proposed above. Write them into your plans and aspirations and check your success and progress in those terms.
(3) Take an incremental view. Incremental means "baby steps." Judge your success by whether you are advancing over-all.
(4) Choose your role models wisely. Focusing your desire to emulate on a real person in your accessible environment has many benefits.
YES!... Find yourself a role model in your community who has access to local facilities, and contacts. They can provide real world support and advice.
NO!... Trying to emulate a multimillionaire international expert in a field is NOT an incremental goal...You will be unnecessarily frustrated by your lack of means and options.
(5) Celebrate your incremental successes. The moment of a success is sometimes fleeting and often private. Fragile memories of genuine successes can be too easily erased by set-backs and hurdles.

So...

Mark your successes mentally and emotionally by talking about them to people you care about.
Write about them in your journal.
Keep a souvenir as a momento.
Raise a glass of wine in a celebratory toast to yourself with a friend.

All these gestures create memory traces and underline "success memories" in your mind so that they are more salient and memorable.

Lost your values? Failure feelings may signal clinical depression. Look for help!
Do you feel adrift? Do you have trouble feeling that anything is of value?

Hopelessness and emptiness are signs of depression. If your feeling of failure is associated with mild or serious depression, it may be wise to seek help. Speak to your doctor to rule out medical reasons for depression, seek counseling to address the emotional or relationship issues that are creating your lowered mood. Resolving your depression may be the first step towards regaining the energy and focus that you need to invest in action and move forward towards your goals.

Worth noting: Research by psychologist Brett Pelham (1993) suggests that even the most highly depressed individuals hold at least one positive self-view and on this aspect of self they feel just as confident and successful as anyone else...or even more successful than others. Pelham observes that depressed individuals often focus positively on these areas in order to lever themselves out of depressed periods.

Beware "non-human, non-solutions"
Individuals who feel unsuccessful may sometimes try to "self-medicate" with drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol temporarily deaden the emotional distress and may fill the individual with chemically induced feelings of success, attractiveness or influence... for a few minutes or hours. These are non-human "non-solutions" which actually do nothing but damage the body and typically rebound emotionally to create even deeper negative self-opinions, ie: "I'm a failure AND I have no will power."

Other individuals may attempt to deflect their worries about success by creating an artificial "show" of material affluence, by spending money to impress others, by engaging in shopping sprees, by endebting themselves to purchase status objects or by gambling and chasing a big win or a big but risky business opportunity, especially if money is their gauge of success.

Non-human, non-solutions ultimately cause more problems than they solve.

One, two, three... Stop feeling like a failure.

(1) Start by being true to your self...
Judge yourself by a unique set of personally meaningful values.
(2) Adopt a questing mindset...
When you are open and curious about your life and experiences there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities for understanding, development and growth.
(3) Avoid falling prey to what "Everybody knows" by seeking "uncommon wisdom"...
It often helps to seek support in this domain. Talking to a therapist or counsellor, or joining a special interest or faith group, can support and underscore the attitudes and perspectives that you are trying to maintain or develop.... and help you start feeling like a success... in the broadest, deepest and most meaningfully human sense.

If you are interested in seeing your own personal rankings of the universal human values mentioned above, consider taking the Values in Action self-test at: http://www.viasurvey.org

To access the French-language version, set your browser to French, then go to the Survey Center. The instructions and the VIA-IS will appear in French, as will your results.

References:
Pelham, B (1983). On the Highly positive Thoughts of the Highly Depressed. In R. Baumeister (ed.) Self Esteem: The Puzzle of Low Self-Regard. New York, Plenum Press. pp.183-199.

Stop Feeling Like a Failure - Finding Your Vision of Success

Feeling like a failure is the dark side of our culture's obsession with being rich, famous and thin.

Who owns the definition of success?
Feeling like a failure might be better reframed as an excessive tendency to compare oneself to others. If you have an uncritical belief that worth can be measured by money, status or fame you are setting yourself up for unhappiness and missing out on other very important areas of human experiencing. Stories abound of successful executives or performers whose personal and spiritual lives were in a shambles.. sometimes to deadly effect.

Initial definitions of success are often inherited from family and culture
One of the first holes that we have to climb out of is the origin of our standards. Up until a certain age (say, nine or ten), we accept the standards of our culture and our families fairly uncritically. For one thing, as children, our intimate universe is largely confined to family, school and District and can be drawn, some of the value or push competitors out of them. consciously to adopt in adolescence or young adulthood possibility of alternative values systems appear, but do not always think about it. In fact, if you ever feel unsafe when we go in the world, may not be familiar scorn value systems, and felt as inferior or at least strange and potentially dangerous. Our tendency to what is familiar, no matter how painful it can beto us, is often a trap that confines us like an invisible electric fence. The tiny spark of uncomfortable anxiety that we feel when we are touched by "the shock of the new" is too often enough to make us recoil instinctively... and respond with a put-down, a joke or a snarl ... anything but courageous curiosity and an open mind.

Is Steven Hawkins with his brilliant mind confined to a wheelchair successful in the same terms as an olympic athlete? Is a nun successful in the same terms as a pop star? Is a good mother successful in the same terms as a business executive?

Received values vs Personal values

Question where your visions of success come from.
"Everybody says so" or "Everybody knows" are not actually authorities.

In fact, "everyone" is just as likely to be "no one".

Speak to real people you admire about what they consider important in life. Read biographies of individuals whose lives you consider to be successful. You may be very surprised at what parts of their life they feel humanly best and worst about. The top athlete may value his emotional connection to his team members, or his commitment to his faith or feel deeply proud of his volunteering. The eminent professor may be very proud of his golf score. Even individuals who have achieved substantial "worldly" success may regret other personal paths not taken.

Develop your own authentic vision of a good life and try to live it.
"Everybody's" standards may actually be too vague and general for you as an individual. Positive psychology researchers have discovered that there is a nearly universal set of 24 positively valued human attributes. They include:  Love, Curiosity, Fairness, Judgement and Open-mindedness, Love of learning, Creativity, Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Honesty, Humor, Self-regulation, Social intelligence, Modesty and Humility, Zest for life, Prudence, perspective and a dozen others. It is worth considering what it could mean a success in these areas of use ... Features that I am honored and at any age group to appreciate the social and human culture.

Five ways to feel successful is to buy.

(1) Set reasonable goals. Purpose and motivation to work best at medium and achievable targets.
YES! ... Reaching a solo in the church choir or school talent show singing requires effort and commitment and will bring recognition from real people around you.
NO!... Chasing a fantasy of becoming Britanney Spears by the time you are nineteen is a recipe for heartbreak and frustration.
(2) Take a broader view of success. Include the positive human values proposed above. Write them into your plans and aspirations and check your success and progress in those terms.
(3) Take an incremental view. Incremental means "baby steps." Judge your success by whether you are advancing over-all.
(4) Choose your role models wisely. Focusing your desire to emulate on a real person in your accessible environment has many benefits.
YES!... Find yourself a role model in your community who has access to local facilities, and contacts. They can provide real world support and advice.
NO!... Trying to emulate a multimillionaire international expert in a field is NOT an incremental goal...You will be unnecessarily frustrated by your lack of means and options.
(5) Celebrate your incremental successes. The moment of a success is sometimes fleeting and often private. Fragile memories of genuine successes can be too easily erased by set-backs and hurdles.

So...

Mark your successes mentally and emotionally by talking about them to people you care about.
Write about them in your journal.
Keep a souvenir as a momento.
Raise a glass of wine in a celebratory toast to yourself with a friend.

All these gestures create memory traces and underline "success memories" in your mind so that they are more salient and memorable.

Lost your values? Failure feelings may signal clinical depression. Look for help!
Do you feel adrift? Do you have trouble feeling that anything is of value?

Hopelessness and emptiness are signs of depression. If your feeling of failure is associated with mild or serious depression, it may be wise to seek help. Speak to your doctor to rule out medical reasons for depression, seek counseling to address the emotional or relationship issues that are creating your lowered mood. Resolving your depression may be the first step towards regaining the energy and focus that you need to invest in action and move forward towards your goals.

Worth noting: Research by psychologist Brett Pelham (1993) suggests that even the most highly depressed individuals hold at least one positive self-view and on this aspect of self they feel just as confident and successful as anyone else...or even more successful than others. Pelham observes that depressed individuals often focus positively on these areas in order to lever themselves out of depressed periods.

Beware "non-human, non-solutions"
Individuals who feel unsuccessful may sometimes try to "self-medicate" with drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol temporarily deaden the emotional distress and may fill the individual with chemically induced feelings of success, attractiveness or influence... for a few minutes or hours. These are non-human "non-solutions" which actually do nothing but damage the body and typically rebound emotionally to create even deeper negative self-opinions, ie: "I'm a failure AND I have no will power."

Other individuals may attempt to deflect their worries about success by creating an artificial "show" of material affluence, by spending money to impress others, by engaging in shopping sprees, by endebting themselves to purchase status objects or by gambling and chasing a big win or a big but risky business opportunity, especially if money is their gauge of success.

Non-human, non-solutions ultimately cause more problems than they solve.

One, two, three... Stop feeling like a failure.

(1) Start by being true to your self...
Judge yourself by a unique set of personally meaningful values.
(2) Adopt a questing mindset...
When you are open and curious about your life and experiences there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities for understanding, development and growth.
(3) Avoid falling prey to what "Everybody knows" by seeking "uncommon wisdom"...
It often helps to seek support in this domain. Talking to a therapist or counsellor, or joining a special interest or faith group, can support and underscore the attitudes and perspectives that you are trying to maintain or develop.... and help you start feeling like a success... in the broadest, deepest and most meaningfully human sense.

If you are interested in seeing your own personal rankings of the universal human values mentioned above, consider taking the Values in Action self-test at: http://www.viasurvey.org

To access the French-language version, set your browser to French, then go to the Survey Center. The instructions and the VIA-IS will appear in French, as will your results.

References:
Pelham, B (1983). On the Highly positive Thoughts of the Highly Depressed. In R. Baumeister (ed.) Self Esteem: The Puzzle of Low Self-Regard. New York, Plenum Press. pp.183-199.

Stop feeling like a failure - Find the vision of success

Feeling like a failure is the dark side of our cultural obsession with the rich, famous and thin.

Who owns the definition of success?
Feeling like a failure can be better than an excessive tendency to compare with others to be reformulated. If you are an uncritical belief that the value is measured with money, status or fame, you are setting up for the misfortune and lost another very important areas of human experience. There are many success storiesDirectors or performers whose personal and spiritual life in a mess .. sometimes fatal.

first definitions of success are often inherited by family and culture
One of the first hole we go is the source of our standards. Up to a certain age (around nine or ten years), you accept the rules of our culture and our families quite critical. First, as children, our inner universe is largely restricted to family, school andDistrict and can be drawn, some of the value or push competitors out of them. consciously to adopt in adolescence or young adulthood possibility of alternative values systems appear, but do not always think about it. In fact, if you ever feel unsafe when we go in the world, may not be familiar scorn value systems, and felt as inferior or at least strange and potentially dangerous. Our tendency to what is familiar, no matter how painful it can beFor us, it is often a trap that limits us as an invisible electric fence. The spark of fear of discomfort you feel when you are "the shock of the new" often moving too much to hold back instinctively ... and respond with a put-down, a joke or a growl ... anything but courageous curiosity and openness.

Steven Hawkins is linked with the success of his brilliant mind in a wheelchair in the same condition of an Olympic athlete? If a nun successfully under the same conditions asPopstar? It is a good mother successfully under the same conditions as a manager?

received values vs. personal values

Wonder where are your visions for success.
"Everybody says so" or "Everybody Knows" are not really the authorities.

In fact, "all" is just as likely that "no one".

Talk to real people that you admire, what they consider important in life. Read biographies of people whose lives are thought to have happened. They can be verysurprised that they feel part of their best and worst about human life. The athlete is his emotional attachment to the members of his team's value, or his commitment to his faith or feel deeply proud of his volunteer work. The eminent professor can be very proud of his golf score. Even people with a great success "secular" has not reached regret even more personal ways adopted.

Develop your authentic vision of the good life and tries to live it.
"Everybody's" Standards canindeed too vague and general as individual to you. positive psychology researchers have found that there is a set of 24 near-universal human characteristics viewed positively. These include: love, curiosity, loyalty, the decision and open-mindedness, love of learning, creativity, appreciation of beauty and excellence, honesty, humor, self-regulation, social cognition, the modesty and humility, joy, wisdom, perspective, and a dozen others. It is worth considering whatcould mean a success in these areas of use ... Features that I am honored and at any age group to appreciate the social and human culture.

Five ways to feel successful is to buy.

(1) Set reasonable goals. Purpose and motivation to work best at medium and achievable targets.
YES! ... Reaching a solo in the church choir or school talent show singing requires effort and commitment and will bring recognition from real people around you.
NO! ... Chasing a fantasy of becoming Britanney Spears by the time you are nineteen is a recipe for heartbreak and frustration.
(2) take a broader view of success. Include the man positive values suggested above. Write in your plans and goals and monitor your progress and success in these terms.
(3) take a view incrementally. Incremental means "small steps". Judge your success if you have progressive-all.
(4) Choose your role modelsWisely. Focus your desire to emulate the environment on a real person in your Internet has many advantages.
YES! ... Finding a role model in their communities with access to local facilities and contacts. You can make a real-world support and advice.
NO! ... The experiment, a multi-millionaire international experts to emulate a field goal in incremental ... It will not be unnecessarily frustrated by your lack of resources and opportunities.
(5) Celebrate your successes incremental.The moment of success is sometimes unstable and often private. Fragile memories of concrete results can be easily erased by setbacks and obstacles.

So ...

Highlight your successes mentally and emotionally for all the people involved in it for you.
Review it in your diary.
Keep a memory like a moment.
Raise a glass of wine in a solemn toast to talk with a friend.

All these actions create memory traces and to highlight "the memoirs success," inIn your opinion, so they are more distinctive and memorable.

Lost your values? Failure to comply can signal feelings of clinical depression. Get help!
Do you feel helpless? Do you have trouble feeling that something is worth?

Despair and emptiness are signs of depression. If your sense of failure with mild or severe depression is associated, it may be wise to seek help. Talk to your doctor to rule, for medical reasons require information to address the depressionemotional or relationship problems, the creation of your mood down. Solve your depression, the first step toward regaining the energy and focus that invests in equity and the need to move towards your goals.

Surprisingly, the research psychologist Brett Pelham (1993) suggests that depressed people up to at least maintain a positive self-image and view on this aspect of themselves that feel just as confident and successful as all the others ... or moresuccessful than others. Pelham found that depressed people often focus on these positive areas in order to manage periods of depression.

Beware of "non-human, non-solutions"
People who can not successfully "self-medication" with drugs or alcohol sometimes try to feel. Alcohol and drugs temporarily anesthetize the emotional distress and the individual can with chemically induced feelings of success, attractiveness or influence to fill ... for a few minutes or hours.These are non-human "non-solutions" that do nothing but damage the body and usually also to create emotionally rebound still is below negative self-views: "I'm a loser And I have no willpower."

Other people may groped to deflect their concerns about the success of creating an artificial "show" of material wealth, with money to influence others, to acquire the shopping endebting alone the status of objects or gambling and hunting a large profit ora large business opportunities, but risky, especially if the money his measure of success.

Non-human, non-solutions ultimately solve more problems than it.

One, two, three ... Stop feeling like a failure.

(1) Start with the true to yourself ...
Judge for yourself through a unique combination of important personal values.
(2) Adoption of a thought that ...
If you are open and curious about your life and experience, there is no such thing as failure,opportunities only for understanding the development and growth.
(3) Do not fall victim to what "Everybody Knows" looking for "unusual wisdom" ...
Often helps to ask for support in this area. Talk to a therapist or counselor, or joining a particular interest or a support group faith, and to emphasize the attitudes and perspectives that you are trying to maintain or develop .... and help you begin to feel like a success ... in the broadest, deepest and most significant humanSense.

When we talk about your personal rating of universal human values, consider the values involved in action in self-test: http://www.viasurvey.org

To access the French version, please set your browser to French, then go to the Survey Center. The instructions and the VIA-IS will be available in French, as the results.

References:
Pelham, B (1983). depressed at the thought of very high positive. In R. Baumeister (Ed.)Self Esteem: The puzzle of low self-esteem. New York, Plenum Press. pp.183-199.

Stop feeling like a failure - Find your vision of success

Feeling like a failure is the dark side of our cultural obsession with the rich, famous and thin.

Who owns the definition of success?
Feeling like a failure can be better than an excessive tendency to compare yourself with others to be regulated. If you are an uncritical belief that value for money can be measured, status or fame for setting up disaster and miss other important areas of human experience. And success storiesDirectors or performers whose personal and spiritual life in a slaughterhouse .. sometimes fatal.

initial definitions of success are often inherited by family and culture
One of the wells before we get is the origin of our standards. Up to a certain age (around nine or ten years), we accept the rules of our culture and our families relatively uncritical. First, as children, our intimate universe largely restricted family, school andDistrict and can draw some structures of competing values or drive us out of them. In adolescence or early adulthood seems to be aware of alternative opportunities to adopt value systems, but not always thinking about it. Indeed, if we are uncertain at all when we go in the world, value systems under unknown mocked and perceived as inferior or at least strange and potentially dangerous. Our tendency to remain, what is familiar, no matter how painful it can beFor us, it is often a trap that we have an electric fence as invisible boundaries. The small spark of fear felt embarrassed when we touched "the shock of the new" is too often that we instinctively recoil ... and respond with a put-down, a joke or a growl ... anything but courageous curiosity and openness.

Steven Hawkins is tied with his mind brilliant success in a wheelchair in the same condition as an Olympic athlete? If a nun successfully under the same conditions asPopstar? If a mother successfully in the same way as a manager?

received values vs. personal values

Question, where are your visions of success.
"Everyone says," or "Everybody Knows" are not really the authorities.

In fact, "all" is just as likely "no."

Talk to real people you admire, what they consider important in life. Read biographies of people whose lives are thought to have happened. It can be verysurprised that they feel part of their best and worst about human life. The athlete is his emotional attachment to the members of his team or his commitment to his faith, and feel deeply proud of the value of volunteering. The famous professor can be very proud of his golf score. Even people who do substantial "worldly success can not be met through other personal regret reached.

Develop your authentic vision of the good life and tries to live it.
"Everybody's" rules mayindeed too vague and general like you for the individual. positive psychology researchers have discovered that there is an almost universal positive evaluation of 24 human attributes. These include: love, curiosity, loyalty, the decision and frankness, love of learning, creativity, appreciation of beauty and goodness, honesty, humor, self-regulation, the 'social intelligence, modesty and humility, joy, wisdom, perspective and a dozen others. It is worth considering whatcould mean a success in these areas of advantage ... Features that are honored and appreciated at any age, social group and of human culture.

Five ways to feel more successful now.

(1) Set reasonable goals. Purpose and motivation work best at medium and achievable targets.
YES! ... First steps towards a solo singing in the church choir or school talent show requires effort and dedication and recognition you get from real people around you.
NO! ... Chasing a fantasy of becoming Spears Britanney when nineteen are a recipe for anxiety and frustration.
(2) Take a broader view of success. Humans positive values suggested above. Write in your plans and desires, and monitor your success and progress in this direction.
(3) Take a view incrementally. Incremental means "small steps". Judge your success, if they are rising on everything.
(4) Choose your role modelsWisely. Focus your desire to emulate the feel of a real person in your access has many advantages.
YES! ... Finding a role model in their communities with access to local facilities and contacts. You can support a real-world advice.
NO! ... The attempt to emulate a multi-millionaire international experts in a field is not a target incremental ... You will be unnecessarily frustrated by your lack of resources and opportunities.
(5) Celebrate your successes incremental.The moment of success is often fleeting and often private. Delicate flavors of real successes can too easily erased by setbacks and obstacles.

So ...

Highlight your accomplishments mentally and emotionally, from interest on them to people.
Write about it in your diary.
Keep as a souvenir gift.
Raise a glass of wine for a solemn toast to talk with a friend.

All these gestures to create memory traces and highlight "memories happened" inYour opinion, therefore, are more prominent and memorable.

Lost your values? Failure to respect the feelings may signal clinical depression. Find Help!
Do you feel helpless? Do you have difficulties, the feeling that nothing is worth?

Despair and emptiness are signs of depression. If your sense of bankruptcy with mild or severe depression is associated, may be wise to seek help. Talk with your doctor to rule out, for medical reasons for depression, seeking counseling to addressemotional problems or relationship to create your mood will be lowered. Solve your depression can be the first step to regain energy and focus to take you to invest in stock and need to move Towards Your Goals.

Amazingly, research psychologist Brett Pelham (1993) suggests that people even more depressed at least a profile of themselves and positive about this aspect of themselves that they feel as safe and successful as any other ... or to hold even moresuccessful than others. Pelham noted that depressed people often focus on these areas positively to exit from periods of depression of the lever.

Attention to "non-human, non-solutions"
People sometimes unsuccessfully trying to treat, "even" with drugs or alcohol. drugs and alcohol to numb the temporary emotional distress and the individual can chemically induced feelings of success, attractiveness or influence to fill ... for a few minutes or hours.This damage is not human "non-solutions" that do nothing but the body and usually emotionally rebound to create even more negative self-views, ie: "I am a failure and I have no willpower."

Other people can try their concern for the success of creating an artificial "show" of material wealth, with money to divert to impress others with shopping endebting alone objects to the status of purchase or gambling, and hunting a large profit ora great opportunity, but risky, especially when the money of their caliber of success.

Non-human, non-solutions ultimately solve more problems than it.

One, two, three ... Stop feeling like a failure.

(1) Start with loyalty to yourself ...
Judge for yourself through a unique combination of significant values personally.
(2) Adoption of a thought that ...
If you are open and curious about your life and experience, there is no such thing as failure,unique opportunity for understanding, development and growth.
(3) avoid falling into that "Everybody Knows", the search for "uncommon wisdom" ...
It often helps to seek support in this area. Talking with a therapist or counselor, or a group of special interest or support the faith, and underscore the attitudes and perspectives that you are trying to maintain or develop .... and help you start feeling like a success ... in the wider, deeper and meaning of human rightsSense.

If you are interested in your personal ranking of universal human values are mentioned, considering the value in action "self-test at: http://www.viasurvey.org

To access the French version, set your browser to French, then go to the Survey Center. The instructions and the VIA-IS appears in French, as the results.

References:
Pelham, B (1983). The very idea of Drucks strongly positive. In R. Baumeister (Ed.)Self Esteem: The Puzzle of Low Self-Regard. New York, Plenum Press. pp.183-199.